Why are all the men so scared

I have noticed that the more confident I become in myself, the more self esteem that I engender, the more that I notice that other people, specifically men, are scared to be themselves. By "themselves," I am talking about avoiding pursuing activities that they think might give other people the idea that they are a sissy or maybe others might question their sexuality...all over an activity choice...sad but true.

This is a list of actvities or traits that stupid people (and by stupid I mean those very accepting of gays especially) associate with a man being homosexual:

Dancing
Artistic
Sensitive
Understanding
Clean
Attractive
Neat
In shape
Muscular ( especially when over 30)
Adornments ( jewelry, earrings)
Well dressed ( meaning tailored well fitted clothing)
Well groomed
Silly witted
Jovial

So, if you are a man, and over 30, and don't want to be called out as gay ( behind your back) from new and old friends and acquaintances, make sure you stay away from any of the above characteristics or activities. Sad what an uncultured slob you need to be isn't it !

In Europe, a large percentage of men fit the aforementioned traits.

American ideals of a hetero man are a bit sad aren't they. Or at least I think so. For the younger generation, it has changed a bit, but almost all generations expect "silly" behavior from gay males and that is the sad part. Many gay males may exhibit flamboyant, irrational, silly behavior and this is what many people are exposed to, and then come to expect these beahviors traits when meeting any bi or gay man. This makes it harder on other guys who are not gay (but cultured) to get a fair break, as well as making it difficult for gay men who are very "Average Joe" to garner respect from the public at large.

It's quite ironic that the first "gay" protests in Philadelphia at Independence Mall in the 60's were formulated so that the "gay" protesters looked just like everyone else. Men in suits and ties and ladies in appropriate dresses. I feel that this paradigm was the correct path for acceptance as well as integration into society at large. Something happened along the way....

Todays gay pride events seem to celerate the "difference" that lies between gay and heterosexual people and I feel as long as this idea is perpetuated and fostered, there is less chance of gay people (especially men) gaining respect from society at large. It creates streotypes in the general public's mind and makes hetero people in general less confortable with their gay counterparts. The empahasis has shifted to people's disturbance with the difference in social behavior, when they may not even care about the difference in sexual behavior. Why create this divide? Also, the flamboyant behavior at large makes the choice to come out even more difficult for those less flamboyant gay men.

With all this said, even considering my opinions above, I believe one should be who he or she wants to be. Being unique is a wonderful thing... as I have always been a bit "out of the loop" and expect to stay that way.

I feel sad that commercials and TV shows condition our young men to feel threatened and be "freaked out" by the possible mere accidental touch of another men, and at the same time they support and yet proselytize that young women partake in same sex groping. The double standard is annoying to me since watching either sex get it on works for me!

I have learned to be who I am, yet I had to fight to become who I am. I fought past the bigotry of those who said they would not accept me as formerly gay, and now much more interested in women, and I fought past the stupid people who think they are so hip that they know another person's sexuality just from how they behave socially and can't accept any other paradigm (so how hip are they?).

I dance, I sing, I box, and do wrestling, I go to art galleries and hair salons, as well as football games and baseball games. I go to straight bars, I sometimes stop in at gay bars or events. I like kicking ass as well as admiring a nice round one (either sex) pass by on a nice sunny day. I know that I admire nice looking, strong confident guys, but now I prefer the company ladies in the bedroom. I've learned not to confuse admiration and pleasure in form with what I want sexually, and anyway..with the gay stuff..been there and done that..it got old and stale (for me). Women have been a whole new exciting adventure, and their bodies are beautiful, soft, intoxicating and sex with them is addictive. I feel stupid for avoiding the ladies for so long, and listening to those who said that if I had been with men I had no right to pursue women. Oh well, my bad.

There are many political reasons why I would NOT want the USA to be like western Europe, but when it comes to our sad sterotypes about male traits, activities and behavior, I do wish we would become a lot more like those across the pond... they have it together and don't get their panties in a wad about male sexuality, dress and behavior.